As I was building this site, I wavered on whether I should include a section about myself or not. I mean, I’m not a speaker, content creator, or anyone of influence. I built this site solely to point visitors to the one true God and hopefully help anyone seeking answers or community. I ultimately decided to include this section because, like other believers, I have a testimony. Not only do I want to share my testimony, but scripture encourages me to share! (Psalm 96:3, Psalm 107:2, Luke 8:39, Matthew 5:16, 1 Peter 3:15) 

My name is Andrea McConnell, a designer and web developer from Kingsport TN. I am the only daughter between two brothers, all born within the first four years of the 1980s. Needless to say, my parents had their hands full! With my parents being so young and not having much money, they were hands-on parents and deeply involved in our lives, finding ways to provide for us and spend quality time together. Along with working very hard to provide for us, they set a great Christian example for my brothers and me, taking us to church almost every time the church doors were open. Around that time, my dad began his songwriting and ministry work. As my brothers and I grew up, we were fortunate to remain a close-knit family, with our parents continuing to lead by example.

This is the part where I’d like to say that I was saved very young and it’s been smooth sailing since. However, the reality is that I stopped attending church by middle school and had little to no relationship with God for about 15 years. Like many others, I spent my early adult years hiding from God, feeling that I wasn't good enough and believing He was always disappointed in me. Growing up, a common theme for me was feeling directionless, forgotten, and insignificant. In school, minus a close friend here or there, I got comfortable with being a bit of a loner. I always found myself being too “this” for the “that” crowd and too “that” for the “this” crowd. For the longest time, I wondered who I was, what value I had, and what my purpose was. By my junior year of high school, I started trying to fill the void with worldly offerings and unfortunately kept that going on and off for years. The problem is, the things of this world never bring true contentment or peace. I didn’t understand it at the time, but my poor behavior stemmed from an unhealthy perception of who I was and what I thought the nature of God was.

Right after high school, things started looking up for me. I was one of those teenagers who seemed to flourish and enjoy life after graduation. The summer after high school, I reconnected and began a relationship with my brother Josh’s friend who would end up being my husband someday. His name is Sam and he’s been my steadfast partner through many ups and downs. God knew what he was doing when he placed Sam in my life so early! Together, we went through the college and part-time job route for a few years.

Again, it’s at this part I wish I could say I reconnected with God, making the following years easier, but that didn't happen. My sins still racked up and I carried shame, knowing I wasn’t living the way I should. It wasn't the self-destructive nature of my sins that weighed on me much; it was the pain I knew they caused others. When I graduated college and started my first career-related job, I remember I felt so burnt out and plagued by a sense of emptiness. One night, while lying in bed, I reached out to God asking Him into my heart and to change me. It would still take a bit for me to go to church but there was a change in me and my behavior.

Not long after, Sam and I bought our first home and started building a little life together. With the invitation from my parents and grandmother, I even started attending a church regularly with Sam joining me soon after. It’s not the church I’d end up staying at, but to this day, I appreciate that church and all I learned there. It’s the church where I got baptized and a place where I’d make some great memories with my family. It was like old times again. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it would be the last church I’d be able to look around and see all my close family members either on stage or in the pews surrounding me. It was a view I’d end up missing not long after.

The beginning of 2016 was shaping up to be a year not much different than the previous couple of years. I was focused on getting adjusted to a new job and planning a small wedding. I remember my dad mentioned something to me about my brother Josh having to have some tests run to make sure something wasn’t cancerous. At the time, I didn’t think much of it. My older brother was always healthy, trim, and athletic - he was the type to get up early to play basketball before going in for his twelve-hour shift! I just figured it wasn’t going to be anything or if it was, he would have surgery and he’d be all set. Not long after when I go to eat with my mom and younger brother Jordan, they break the news to me that Josh has colon cancer. A week or two after Josh's diagnosis, I find out my mom has breast cancer. Any family dealing with a cancer diagnosis can tell you what a scary and sobering time that is along with the frustrating ever-changing prognosis news.

By the end of 2016, Mom and Josh both had their major surgeries along with their cancer treatment regimen. They both even got to remission status for a bit; I remember telling one of my co-workers that news was the best Christmas gift I could get. Most of the next year involved them recovering and besides my mom’s reconstructive surgeries, things started feeling like they were going back to normal. But, that feeling didn’t stay for long.

By 2018, Josh’s cancer relapsed with a vengeance and had spread to other areas of his body. As sad as it all was, I was amazed at how Josh handled the next two years of life he had left - I never saw anything like it. As much reason he had to focus on his circumstances, Josh instead focused on others - making friends with nurses and other patients at hospitals, traveling to pray for others, and starting a prayer ministry called “Sozo” (a Greek word meaning “to save, heal, make whole, deliver”). He did all that while still working and spending quality time with his children. It was remarkable to watch and I’m so proud of him.

By the end of 2020, Josh passed away amid the pandemic, and in the middle of Sam and I moving next door to my parents where he spent his last days. At his funeral, I barely remember much except the strange numb fog I was in and how it all felt surreal. I believe I stayed in that numb fog for at least 2 years after. During that time, I was dealing with confusion and hurt. Sadly, some of the piling on of pain came from other believers. To be completely honest, I was angry and resentful for a while. There were times when I’d tell God “I don’t understand this. Josh was a father to young children and a Christian who was trying so hard to help others in their healing. Why couldn’t he get healed? He was needed here!”

Around that time, Sam and I had started at a new church and it ended up being a place where I could work through some of the pain, first privately and then with other members through lamenting and prayer. James 4:8 states to draw near to God and He will draw near to you. While I still don’t understand the whys, I feel so much more peace through putting my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and giving him praise no matter the circumstances. Sometimes all you can do is keep fighting the good fight and trusting the Lord (as Paul said in 2 Timothy 4:7). So, I trust in God’s higher ways and I carry on in ways I know Josh would want me to. 

Currently, our family continues the prayer and bible study ministry Josh started. If you’re in Kingsport and would like to join us at Calvary Worship Center, reach out to me here. 

It was during this bible study that I started getting ideas for this site. I want to share all the wonderful resources I am learning from. I never want to come off as a Christian who thinks they have it all figured out. I’m continually seeking biblical answers and will continue learning for the rest of my life. I pray the content of this site can be a way for someone to start a dialogue with God and have a relationship with Him. No matter where you are in life, the love of God can and will chase after you and you’re never too far gone.

I want to thank you (the reader) for reading this far! I’d also like to thank Matthew Cleek and Jeff Rainey for the server space, Calvary Worship Center, Christ Fellowship (my home church), my husband Sam and my family for their support, and most importantly the Lord Jesus Christ, my savior, for everything and everyone He has blessed me with.